English Class Boredom
by Iggity
Summary: Ellie and I were bored in english class and decided to write about Ron and Hermione. This is the result. M to be safe. Previously HermyandRon. I'm still the same person, I promise!


**A/N:** Ellie and I have English class together for yet another year. WOOT! (**Ellie:** I double that woot. WOOTWOOT!) So, of course, we got bored and started writing. And we helped each other. Teehaw! Parts written by me are in normal print; Ellie's are in **bold print**. This originally started as "you write one word, I'll right another" and changed to "you write one sentence and I'll write another" and ended on "you write one paragraph and I'll write another". Enjoy!

**WARNING:** HEAVY FITS OF LAUGHTER MAY OCCUR. THIS IS COMPLETELY NATURAL. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CALLING THE POLICE; YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THE AFTER-EFFECTS OF HUMOUR. THANK YOU.

Ron **looked** at **himself** in **the **bathtub. **With** his **hands** down, he **gripped** his **ankle** and **pulled** up. **Just then**, Hermione **dropped** the soap. **She** winked **at **the** boy in the tub** and grabbed his other **ear** before **kissing his **very large **pimple**.

"EW!" **cried** Hermione. **"It's so** juicy, **I think I popped it!"**

"Good; it's been there since **Easter**!"

"... **got any Viagra?"**

"Why?"

**"Your pimple, it ... it ... turned me on."**

Ron projectile vomited in the sink.

**"Oh baby," said Hermione.**

"You're fucked in the head."

**"I'm sorry,** but my parents liked to play volleyball."

**"Mine preferred football ... WTF ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?! WHO WRITES THIS CRAP!?"**

**"LET'S HAVE SEX!" Hermione screamed.**

They had sex.

**NO KATE. THEY NEED **_**DEEETAILS**_**!**

Damn it, Ellie, I -- **OK! So Ron hesitantly took off his socks. **...they're in the shower. He's already naked. **-goes red- FINE! Take two!**

**Ron hesitantly moved towards **Hermione, who reached out, grabbed his **faith **(...his faith? **-Reach out and touch faith ...) **(...OK, thanks, Depeche Mode!)

**Ron let out a **rather loud moan and** fell into Hermione's breast. **(...she only has one?) **(He was leaning; I'm ASSUMING they're BIG!)** making Hermione squeak in **determination** (...determination? You stole the paper back to write "determination"? Why not "indignation"?) **(No, determination; she's **_**DETERMINED**_** to get laid!)**

"DON'T TOUCH ME; JUST FUCK ME!" she yelled, **throwing Viagra at him.**

(...what is your obsession with Viagra?) **(Dunno. Just always been my reason to have sympathy for why Ron doesn't fuck her from PAGE ONE!)** Ron swallowed six Viagra **(Six! Wow; I said four. WOOT WOOT! Go Ron!)**

**...moments later ...**

**(:O Ron got it up!)**

(Yes, Ron got it up.) **(^_^)**

**Ron moved under the shower **(I think Ellie should have a try at writing this entire scene. Fans? Yes? Thought so -grins-) **(:O Oh no! So much pressure! I don't ... think ... I ... can do it! (Well, I can do it ... just not **_**this**_** do it))** (DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!) **(You asked for it!)**

**Ron moved under the shower **(You already wrote that) **(RECAP!) and turned the Magical Knob of Ellie.** (...what?) **(You'll see -smiles-) Just then, a flash of light and a shit load of steam filled smoke crowded the shower.** (...steam filled smoke?) **(Yes; shut up!)**

**"Hermione?" Ron called.**

**"Guess again," I said as the smoke cleared (:D).**

(...well, I _did_ ask for it) **(You said "Do it!", and now, I shall!)** (...-slams head against wall-) **(Knocked out? NOT GOOD! Who's going to write me the best sex I've ever had?!) **(YOU were supposed to write about Ron and HERMIONE! Not Ron and YOU!) **(YOU said write the next scene! I did! Your turn -grins-)** (Bah!) **(I heart you)** (...this is completely awkward) **(FINE!)**

**Ron was scared of what he had done and quickly switched back the Knob of Ellie and again steam filled smoke filled the room and moments later, Hermione reappeared (Happy?) **(:D Thank you, babes -less than threes-) As soon as Ron saw Hermione, he threw her against the wall and started pounding into her, not caring about the Contraceptive Charm. **(FOR SHAME! Contraception is **_**everything**_**!) **(If a guy can't wait, he probably can't last) **(B - B - B - BURRN!)**

**A/N:** And that, ladies and gents, is what we managed to come up with. Ellie dropped out of English the next week and we probably will never be able to finish this story, but I think it finishes itself, if that makes _any_ sense whatsoever. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
